Surprise, surprise - it's happened again. I had a REALLY bad mommy day yesterday. One in which I was wishing that I was back to work. And in fact, had me questioning my very being and capabilities to actually be a mom. I yelled at the kids a lot yesterday, and actually had a headache from all of it. It WAS NOT a good day!
Lately, I have not been enjoying motherhood as much as I probably should be. My days consist of just "getting through" them - surviving really. I have gotten into the routine of cleaning, picking up, feeding and yelling at the kids - and let's not forget about getting on the computer. This is not how I envisioned my life and how I thought motherhood would be like. Is it just the ages of my children right now? Or is there something else very, very wrong with me? Are these feelings normal? Who knows.
I mean, yeah - I've had bad days before, but we've gotten through them. But I'm not happy, plain and simple. I haven't been happy. I haven't been doing projects with the kids, haven't been taking them to the park to just get away, I don't really know what the issue is. Do all moms go through this at one point or another? Going back to work is sounding really good right about now! And maybe I should, maybe I should get more serious about going back to work. I don't know.
And on top of all of this - Brad is working 7 days a week for 12 hours a day for at least the next 2 weeks or until whenever they get that job finished. And we're supposed to be going to Bellingham in 2 weeks. Nice! He just started this yesterday - and instead of working 12 hours, he ended up working 14 - so with the kids waking up earlier and earlier, it just makes for an excruciatingly long day! I know now I could never be a single mom. NEVER. I hope that it won't come to that. EVER.
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About Me
- joshnmaddiesmum
- Just a typical mom with a son and a daughter trying to make my way through motherhood sanely. I'm a stay-at-home mom now. I was an l&d nurse for about 2 years before having my son. And I am starting to miss going to work, but scared as heck to do so. My husband is a journeyman lineman. And we've been married for 6 years now. And I just recently became a Scentsy consultant.
6 comments:
Oh, Adrienne! Your feelings are completely NORMAL! I have felt that way many times! Being a mom is REALLY hard and I've lost myself in that role many times. I find it's like a pendulum. Sometimes I'm motivated and artsy and happy and other times I yell more, have less patience, and don't enjoy my family!
If you can try swapping days with a friend and take her kids so she can take yours. In my experience when I've got extra munchkins around I'm a better mom (don't wanna be mean around someone else's kids) and the kids are happier for the distraction!
The break in turn is refreshing. Try getting into a schedule with that if you can.
And there's NOTHING wrong with wanting to back to work! I just started working full time (new position (ACN- assistant coordinator nurse) and have put Jacob in daycare 3 days a week. I had lots of mommy guilt about this, but Jacob loves "school" and I actually get monday's to my self...to do whatever I want to do! I'm feeling more refreshed and happier, more motivated to play with my kids!
I'm just getting out of my mommy slump! I was there for quite a while, don't worry... this too shall pass. Try changing up your routine if you can. and get out of the damn house! UGH! there's nothing like being stuck with in "four walls" with grouchy kids.
...or you could start drinking! HA!! Miss you babe! hang in there! I'll be praying for you!
I'll call you saturday after I wake up if you want.
I am not a mom but not being able to work and being home all the time seems to dampen my spirits as well. Try to get out more, that seems to help me. And I would assume everyone goes through stages were it is just plain, ol' difficult. I heard someone say once that you could try writing down two things that the kids did that were positive each night, as a way to remind you that the day wasn't all bad. I dunno, like I said, I don't have kids so I could be way off. Good luck! It will get better! :)
you are definitely not alone. I go through waves of motherhood, either the tide is in and it is somewhat rewarding and sometimes even fun, or the tide is out and it is near impossible just to make it through the day.
I wish I had the answer for you - it would help us both out a lot. I guess the best thing about it is when you have a super shitty day, it usually gives you the resolve to make tomorrow a little better. Too bad we have to make ourselves feel like crap. I guess those are the joys of motherhood.
Hang in there, the tide will come back in. As you know, the grass isn't always greener, if you went back to work, you'd be wishing you were home. Just think, you only have about 16 more years of this... (and then the rest of your life spent looking back wishing you could have done it better - isn't motherhood great?)
you need to get out of the House with the kids. You have the duldrums. Get out go for a walk. go explore the... Get away from the house. You stay there is too much to think about..the kids get into a negative routine and it is a bad scene. Have you joined the moms club? It might not work with your schedle. If not ask them to change somethings so it can. Do stuff with the kids outside the house. use bribery if you have too. "if you guys are good while mommy does the shopping then we can go to the park after" If they aren't good make sure they know they have lost the park. do something fun with them. do u have the game Hullaballo? it is really fun the kids would love it. but mommy has to play too. donLt get stuck in the cleaning rut. PLAY they will only be this young for so long adrienne don't make it all work have some fun too. good luck and patience
Thanks ladies for all the support and advice. I really appreciate it. This weekend has gone by fairly fast so far because I have asked for help. Big step for me :) My mom came yesterday, I had a babysitter last night and went out to dinner with a friend, and my mother-in-law is coming today. So we've made it through one weekend, now only one more to go (I hope!).
But thank you everyone for the kind words and to just know that I'm not alone or a big freak or something. Love you girls!!!
That's what Blogs are for :>. I was catching up on my blog reading and read this one. Now remember, the feeling of accomplishment that you earned Brad's money also in paying off your debt. :> Love ya babe. Congrats again on paying off your loans that is so good for both of you. :>
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